Tuesday, August 24, 2004

A Higher Education

cape town, south africa

What I've learned living with 3 women...

Boys are stupid... unless the're paying lots and lots of attention to you. Then they're still probably stupid, but you should be nice to them anyway just in case they have hot friends.

Girls are good at science... they must be because you would need a degree in chemistry to figure out how to use all the various skin creams and hair products that litter our bathroom

The reason many girls obsess about their hair is because it is perpetually falling out. Girls hair must grow really fast or else, judging by the amount of hair in the drain in our sink, all of my roomates should be bald by now

Having an undesireable guy flirt with you is better than having no guy at all

Never come between a woman and a tub of Blueberry Cheesecake Icecream... Never!

When a girl asks you: "Can I have the rest of the pudding you made last night" an appropriate response is NOT: "Didn't you just eat an entire tub of Blueberry Cheesecake Icecream?" Trust me on this one.

Girls don't take out the garbage. They just don't.

When Sex and The City is on TV... everyone better shut up. When a James Bond movie is on, no such rule applies.

When the topic of conversation turns to fresh brownies, Bridget Jone's Diary, or "that cute guy in our history class who sat next to me today...", cover your ears and leave the room because there's going to be a lot of screetching going on.

Sarcastic responses that work with the guys somehow aren't as funny in a house full of girls.


Laura - I need a shower!
Rich - <holding his nose> Wow, you sure do!

Not funny.

A salad can be a meal... not just a side dish.

Skim milk and low-fat cottage cheese is important because it wont make you fat. Neither does an entire tub of Blueberry Cheesecake Icecream.

South African boys are too skinny

When a woman tells you she's fat, she doesn't really think she's fat. She just wants to hear you tell her that she isn't. (please note that sarcasm is not appropriate here either)

When girls get ready to go out to a party they must spend at least five minutes before they leave, telling eachother: "You look beautiful! I wish I had boobs like yours". Then the other one must reply with: "Oh my god! You're gorgeous in that top. I wish my butt would fit in pants like those!"

You must do everything you can to make guys pay attention to you... try and talk about things they're interested in, wear a low cut top, laugh at things that aren't funny... and then you must act surprised when they actually DO pay attention to you.

If he DOESN'T pay attention to you, he's just an arrogant ass-hole.

But don't throw his number away yet...

...he might have cute friends.

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